Diet or lifestyle change?

Its unfortunate that I have found myself, at this time of my life, worrying about my weight.  I'm so tired of this but for the past 13 or so years it is something that I think about...constantly.  If I could have anything in this world, other than money, it would be to weight 130 again.  How sad is that?  I hate it.  But I guess until it is a goal that is realized, it will continue to control my life.  Diet?  I hate that word.  It is such a lie!!  I could diet today and tomorrow, well, I am once again at the starting line, sadly, I'm tired and do not look forward to running that race, again.